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Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say

March 26, 2009

  • “Son, why are you wearing a bottle around your neck?”uttered after meeting child on stairs who was wearing a necklace consisting of Mardi Gras beads tied to a 2-liter soda bottle.
  • “Are you crying because you do not have an EKG machine?” in response to dd who got upset because I told her that it would be difficult to properly study the effects of emotion on heart rate without specialized monitoring equipment.
  • “Why did your son paint my dress with toothpaste?” exclaimed to husband after discovering said artwork on my favorite red dress.
  • “Who stole my shoes?”
    yelled at children who have nabbed my conveniently located but beat-up plastic garden shoes

    rather than finding their own shoes. There is never any way to guess which of them will swipe my shoes.
  • “I dropped a frozen corn dog on it.”in explanation as to why my toenail is coming off and looks so awful
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4 Comments leave one →
  1. lleehome permalink
    March 28, 2009 5:23 pm

    Hilarious! Here is mine.

    “Get down off the counter… Grandma”

    She was 90 at the time but quite willing to do whatever she needed to do to reach my upper cabinets

  2. lleehome permalink
    March 28, 2009 5:23 pm

    Hilarious! Here is mine.

    “Get down off the counter… Grandma”

    She was 90 at the time but quite willing to do whatever she needed to do to reach my upper cabinets

  3. Lynne permalink
    March 28, 2009 7:31 pm

    Hey, you sound like a wife and mother to me!

  4. Lynne permalink
    March 28, 2009 7:31 pm

    Hey, you sound like a wife and mother to me!

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